I recently introduced a good friend of mine to one of my all-time favourite movies – Bridget Jones’ Diary. Yes, I’m a sucker for romantic comedies and I make no apology for it! Lol. She had never watched it before, and I don’t know how many times I’ve watched it but as we watched it together it felt as though I was watching it again for the first time. It was thrilling to see her reactions to all the classic lines (“… I like you, very much. Just as you are” *sigh*), the cleverly placed humour and the character developments. She was a fan by the time we were done. Naturally.
As I enjoy doing with most things in life, I reflected on the lessons garnered from the movie with said dear friend. What stood out most for the both of us, stemmed from one of Bridget Jones’ statements when Daniel Cleaver tells her that if he can’t make it with her, he can’t make it with anyone (how romantic right?). She initially had fallen for him, but upon reflecting on his offer of a relationship where she would be clearly settling, she seems to realize in that moment that she wants and deserves something more. She responds to him by saying,
“That’s not a good enough offer for me. I’m not willing to gamble my whole life on someone who’s not quite sure. It’s like you said: I’m still looking for something more extraordinary than that.”
Wow! What a bold but true statement. My friend and I agreed so wholly and completely with Bridget Jones at this moment. She’d finally grown up and knew what she wanted and was not willing to give up on it regardless of how exciting other offers appeared to be. My friend rightly pointed out that despite how painful and long it may take to get that extraordinary love, it is far more worth it than simply and easily falling into a “normal” relationship that does not affect you or the world you live in. Extraordinary love transforms you, your life and the world, yet it is accompanied by tears, hard work and sacrifice. It’s not as easy and seamless as the movies make it seem. There is a trade-off. At the same time, I believe that the “normal love” comes easily and without much (if any) of a fight yet it leaves you no better than when it found you. The choice is truly yours.
Over the course of my very brief life, I’ve come to realize that these two types of love distinguish two groups of women. The first group represents the majority of women today who give up on waiting for that love that they desire and know they truly deserve. A love that will elevate them and change them for the better. A love that will respect them and recognize their value and worth. It could be because of a number of reasons that a woman chooses to settle. It could be fear (fear of age creeping up on her/fear of being without a man etc); lack of confidence in self and in the belief that she is worthy of, and can receive an extraordinary love story written specifically for her; emotional scarring from past experiences with men; impatience to wait for the right love story; family or peer pressure to settle for any man cause at least “she’s got a man” et cetera. The list is endless and unique to each specific woman. The bottom-line though, is that this group of women usually gives up on receiving that extraordinary love and they usually do so just when this love is around the corner. They settle for the Daniel Cleaver offer when Marc Darcy is waiting on the other side of their compromise.
Then there is the other group of women. The group I’ve chosen to form a part of. This group is smaller and rare in our day and age of quick fixes and getting what you want now. This group is presented with their fair share of terrible and “good” men, as well as okay/normal/expected love stories as is any other woman. They come across the Daniel Cleavers of this world. They too may be fighting the ticking age clock or the peer pressures of their families and friends (I certainly am!). They too may at one time not have believed that they were worthy of receiving extraordinary love. Yet, they persevere and hold on. They choose to push through the heartache, loneliness, seeming impossibilities and pressures. As each day passes, they stand a little taller and awaken to the truth that they desire more and are willing to wait out to receive it. They’ve experienced the ordinary and it just won’t do it for them anymore. They’re not willing to gamble their whole life on it à la Bridget Jones. They would much rather remain single (and die single if they have to), knowing that they did not compromise on what they deserved and knowing that they accepted only the best in whatever form it eventually came.
The thing is, the Bible tells us that the heart is deceitful above all things (Jeremiah 17:9) and we cannot trust it to lead us. This applies in terms of experiencing extraordinary love. Your heart will tell you that what is before you is as good as it gets when you know in your right mind that you deserve better. I’ve come to learn that God’s best and most extraordinary love stories take time, patience and perseverance. Look at Jacob and Rachel, or Heather and Cornelius Lindsey – one of my favourite modern-day Christian couples. And in most instances, the counterfeit (Daniel Cleaver) appears to distract you just before the real deal (Marc Darcy) arrives. And because Daniel seems to have some good qualities, you settle for him not realizing that you’re signing away Mr Extraordinary. Extraordinary love is called that for a reason. It is amazing, unusual, surprising, and bigger and better than what you’ve ever experienced before. And so, when you find yourself looking into the eyes of a love story that seems to look like you could have manufactured on your own, it just may be ordinary. Rather, extraordinary love seems impossible, unattainable and out of your reach. It would take a miracle to achieve! That’s where God steps in 🙂
So my dear sister, don’t you want to wait for the more extraordinary love? Wouldn’t you rather hold out just a little while longer knowing that only the best is in store for you? I would like to encourage you to pause and allow the Hand of God to craft something that you nor anyone could ever put together and thus could never tear apart. If you’re courageous enough, join me in waiting for a more extraordinary love ❤ 🙂
What are your thoughts about love and waiting on the right man? Do you have an extraordinary love story to share with us? Do you think extraordinary love is overrated? Let us hear all about it below!