Why Life Needs To Be Boring

Bored Black Woman 1

Photo Cred: Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation QBank Review

I’ve recently been frustrated with my life and have felt like I’m not adding anything to this world or being as purposeful as I should be. I have felt highly inadequate and as though I’m missing something that everybody else has caught onto and I’m failing in the race of life. Actually, the other day I was remarking to my sister that I was feeling uninspired by life and feeling aimless. And it was eating me up because I’ve always been a person who believes in living a life of purpose and doing great things to make a difference in this world for Christ. I have had no doubt in my mind that we are chosen of God to do wonderful things in this life if we choose to let Him work in us.

Yet here I was stuck in nothingness.

Enter an enlightening article that my sister shared entitled “Why Generation Y is Unhappy”. I’ve been asking God to help me get out of my funk of feeling aimless and He answered through that article. In it, the author highlights the fact that my generation (Y) is unhappy because the reality of our lives is not as good as our expectations, and we have an attitude of entitlement believing that we should just become great and do great things because we’re so inherently awesome and special. We have forgotten that it takes hard work, tears, sweat and blood to achieve the great things in life.

This is certainly something that I have lost sight of. I’ve always been a believer in the need to work hard to achieve anything. I’ve understood that things do not just get handed to you on a silver platter, and often if they are they can just as easily be taken away from you. But I’d forgotten this important truth. Not only that, we live in a society that compares a lot. Just log onto any social media and you’re watching someone else’s amazing life. They’re always smiling. Always out and about doing some amazingly great things. Life never seems boring.

And then it hit me – life needs to be boring majority of the time!

Truth be told, there is nothing exciting about waking up in the morning and preparing for work. There is seldom much exciting about work itself even if you’re passionate about your career – you do hit some dry patches. There are moments that are lack lustre in even the most wonderful and passionate relationships! At some point you need to go buy groceries as a couple and you need to clean the house. That does not scream excitement or “greatness”. Yet, our focus tends to always be on the exciting, the new, the thrilling. We’ve come to believe (and I certainly have) that if our lives do not resemble an award-winning movie or book, there is something wrong with us and we’re not world shakers. What a lie.

 

Truth is, it takes 4 long and gruelling stages before an egg turns into a beautiful, awe-inspiring butterfly. That lava needs to go through periods of darkness and aloneness. It needs to struggle and experience pain as it breaks out to become one of the most gorgeous creatures on earth. I mean, Christ spent 30 years out of His 33 years preparing for His eventual ministry on this Earth. He didn’t just wake up as a baby and have it all figured out although He was actually God (another discussion for another day). He had to experience the mundane tasks of working as a carpenter; obeying His parents; reading and studying the Bible; eating and sleeping; fasting; praying etc before He did all His amazing and earth-shattering miracles and work. All we ever remember or focus on is how He gave sight to the blind or raised people from the dead. Or how He said such deep and profound things. We skip right over the “boring” long years He had to endure.

So what am I saying? I am saying that we need to embrace the mundane elements of our lives. In fact, we ought to celebrate them because these are the moments that actually prepare, groom and shape us to be who we are meant to be. It is through the day-to-day activities that you learn your strengths and weaknesses. That you exercise your muscles – physical, spiritual, mental, emotional. That you develop discipline and good work ethics for life. That you appreciate what you already have and actually become even more grateful for what comes along. Yes you have wonderful dreams and hopes for your life – great achievements, movements and ideas you’d like to bring into this world. Just make sure you don’t birth them prematurely and do your best to learn all you need to in the mundane parts of life so that you can apply these lessons when you are walking that exciting path. Besides, you are building the foundation that will hold up said dreams as you go through the boring moments of life.

By celebrating the boring in our lives, we are opening the door to future greatness. So I’m prepared to just buckle down and keep my head buried as I live out the boring parts of my life and as I seek to work as hard as I can. I believe that it will be worth it in the end and will prepare me for whatever tasks the Lord has placed on my life. I hope you’ll join me on this journey 🙂

Do you agree with this article or do you believe life can always find a way of being thrilling? I’d love to hear from you!

With love,

Sonia Dee

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Guest Post: I Am a Christian and I Am a Womanist, Do You Mind? by Euphony Paballo Kgadima

Mother and daughter holding hands in cafe
Photo Cred: Huffington Post

In the 21st century, or rather the information age, we still find women especially black women being marginalized and ostracized – by virtue of being black and woman. I have gravitated more towards womanism than feminism – I just felt that as a black woman I face the double edged sword in both the world and the church. Feminism at times, does not treat the wounds that are experienced by Black women, this could be because it tends to have western ideals on how to deal with the subjugation of black women; however that is a piece for another day…

Many people find it hard to conceptualize the idea of a woman being a Christian and a womanist- to me that is like you simply saying that I can be a woman but I should never be concerned with the issues that plague black women. Secondly you are denying me the right to be feminine – should I be masculine? This article is really my official coming out piece – I am coming out to the world boldly to say that I believe in God, Jesus Christ (his second coming), The Holy Spirit and I choose to advocate gender justice and African women’s justice. I am aware that some feathers will be ruffled, but I am not here for that; I am here for the many young women in the church like me, who can no longer be silenced. I am here for the women who are told to keep their mouth shut when oppression is happening because it is in the church. I am also here for the young Christian women who have been side lined by elitist feminist organizations- because they choose to love and believe in God!

What is wrong with being a Christian and a womanist? According to the norms and values of society, the other side believes that Christianity is patriarchal – I don’t think it is as a system, I believe it is because of those who bring their worldly concepts into the church and yes there are those who use it as tool to oppress women. There are misogynists who hide behind quoting scripture out of context! This leaves us with the world shunning us Christians who believe in justice for women. On the other hand you have the church that sees feminism and womanism as a tool to perpetuate lesbianism, witchcraft and misandry. Misinformed- you need to understand the origins and hermeneutics of the movement it is dynamic! This is sad, because the aim of the movement is to fight for equality and to eliminate abuse and oppression. There will always be a problem when human beings start using systems of liberality to oppress, or even side line others – which happens in both Christianity and in Womanism movements alike.

Now, my question is where can we find a safe place, where can we be embraced if both sides feel that we need to divorce one or the other? How do I choose to discard my faith when I love my faith dearly, that has informed my behavior and transformed me, because I want to be a womanist? The other question could be; how do I choose not to speak against woman abuse and the ostracizing of black women in the corporate world? The answer, is no! I cannot and will not divorce one from the other, simply because the commandments of God are based on equality and justice- it was Christ who often stood up for women, and I think we need to get to a place where we stop making Christian Womanists feel out of place for being bold enough to be practical about their faith. There is no either or for me, and I have decided to say no to being bullied by both sides.

I am what God has called me to be, and being a Christian requires that I never turn a blind eye on any form of oppression because I may be stepping on someone’s toes. I have an obligation to God, and that is to love humankind and to speak up for the weak. Therefore I am a Christian and I am a Womanist, do you mind?

Euphony

Euphony Paballo Kgadima, is 28 years old and lives in Soweto. She currently works for L’Oreal as an Education Manager for one of their luxury brands- Kiehl’s. She is a YAWM (Young Adventist Women’s Ministries) leader in her church at Orlando West SDA, and because she is passionate about women she is the founder of Women in Dialogue Sessions. Women in Dialogue Sessions is a platform for women to safely engage on their issues, and it is used as a spring board to create a support network to fuel businesses, corporate careers, arts & culture and academics alike. Euphony is a womanist; hence she is vocal about women’s issues. In her spare time she enjoys reading and she is working on her brand because she believes that she has been called to be an entrepreneur more than anything. She used to run Skin Therapist SA which was an initiative on educating people on their skin- it will be re-launched soon as Skin Dialogues. Finally, she also has a blog called ‘A Woman in Dialogue’ launching end of October!