The Story Behind black African woman

black African Woman logo_FA-03 (002)

The new black African woman logo by Tique Design

 

In March of this year, I finally took a bold step to do something God had been prompting me to do for a while but that I’d been afraid to for over a year. I decided to start my blog and Facebook Ministry under the banner black African woman (bAw). I’d been writing some of these posts from as early as the beginning of 2014 and just storing them up, not really believing that they would impact anyone’s life. But God had a whole different plan for me and those writings. Don’t ever doubt the dreams God places on your heart.

 

Since I began posting on my blog, I’ve been asked a number of questions about my blog and the brand. More often than not, the question is “Why BLACK African woman? Why not just African woman?” With people asking that question, I have further realized why God placed this dream and this vision in my heart. The black woman is mostly irrelevant in society today. She is just seen as an African or an African-American or whatever else. People cannot understand why I emphasise the “black” part of her identity and this is why I do.

 

I have decided to write this post today to review why I am so invested in this brand and what it means to me. At the same time, I’ve chosen this time to reveal my new logo for bAw which will further aid me in sharing about this brand and what I believe to be God’s vision for it.

 

  1. Why black African woman?

So. You may be wondering why I decided to start writing under this name and about this specific woman?

Firstly, and quite simply, because I AM a black African woman and proud to be. For the majority of my life I have walked around without fully realizing and embracing my true identity. I have come to understand that I am a woman, yes. That I am from the continent of Africa. I am Zimbabwean. Yes I am black. But I recently realized that I have never identified myself as all these things – a black African woman. I’ve just identified with parts of me in different settings and at different times. But the truth is, I am always a bAw and will always be. Whether at home with my family, or in church, or on holiday, or at the mall. One thing that is undeniably true (apart from the fact that I am first a daughter of God), is that I am a black African woman. And I am finally proud of that fact.

Secondly, black African women are rarely celebrated, nurtured, groomed or given the priviledge and opportunity to be understood. Yes, there are blogs and movements that fight for the voice of the bAw to be heard but this is not what my brand is about. Because most of these are fighting for rights and the like. My brand encompasses that, but is more than that. My brand is more personal. It’s about identifying with, understanding and exploring the daily struggles, joys, pains, victories, defeats, hurts etc of individual black African women, which then form a collage of a whole lot of black African women. It’s about understanding the entirety of the bAw and sharing her truth with the world.

 

  1. What does bAw mean to me?

A look at the new logo for my brand sums up what this ministry means to me. The brightness of the white and the orange represents a new era for the bAw. The voice of the bAw is finally being projected, and she is discovering new amazing things about herself and sharing them with the world. The black outline is there to remind me that this brand is about the black African woman. I wanted to emphasize that the bAw also embodies hope, newness, love, joy, freedom and so much more greatness! Lastly, the bAw is dignified and full of grace. This is seen in the posture of the woman in the logo. Her head is held high because she believes in her value and worth, and she is preparing to step out into the world to defy the stereotypes that have always existed about her.

For me, bAw is how I fight for women’s rights – especially those of bAw. They are the most marginalized and prejudiced race and sex in the world. It’s a double-edged sword for my sisters. And as I explained in my very first post, other women of other races have their own platforms that deal with their issues and with elevating them. I shall not be ashamed of doing the same for my sisters. I believe that the true victory in attaining women’s rights begins by helping her to win the war in her mind. Once she believes that she is worth fighting for and valuable in the sight of God, there is no stopping her.

 

  1. What is this blog about?

In a nutshell, this blog provides a platform for bAw to share their stories – their experiences. And for other people to share their experiences of and understanding of bAw. My sisters are fighting a tough battle on this earth, and they need to be encouraged. It may be a story that a bAw reads on this blog that may save her life. It may be another bAw’s experience on this blog that gives another sister hope and perseverance. That is what this blog is about. To collect a journal of the stories of bAw and to lift it up unashamedly so as to say to the world that she matters too. She is still alive despite how the world, society and the devil himself have tried to kill her. That she is valuable in the sight of God too.

 

I hope this sheds some light on this blog and ministry. I would like to give a big thanks to Lia Nascimento of Tique Design for creating the logo for me and bringing to life my vision! For details on how to contact Lia, please see the image at the end of the post.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this post and understand my vision. I hope it makes things much clearer for you and I hope you can join in on this journey with me. Please don’t hesitate to ask any more questions. You can find me on Facebook (The black African woman), Twitter (@TheBAWLife) and soon to be on Instagram! Please do pray for this ministry and do engage – someone needs to hear your story 😉

 

With love,

Sonia Dee

 

Lia Nascimento Contact Details

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Thought-Provoking Tuesdays: Happiness

Hi bAw family 🙂

I’ve been thinking a lot this week about how we tend to go through life with questions or ideas that if we express them allow us to move forward with life so much better. Then I realized (also from my studies) that when we are asked questions, we find it easier to navigate the thoughts in our minds. We’re better able to make sense of our feelings and experiences. After all, Christ (when He lived amongst us) used to ask people questions all the time. It’s not that He just wanted to sound smart or philosophical but I realize now that it was because He was trying to get His people to look deeper within their hearts and recognize the condition of their souls. To better understand the powerful truth He had come to share with them – that He was their salvation, fulfillment and joy.

And so, going forward, I’ll be doing what I call Thought-Provoking Tuesdays starting today. I’ll post a question that really gets you thinking and I’d love it if you could share your answers with us so we can be encouraged knowing that others think and feel the same way we do. This is part of the process of healing and growing.

Today’s question is:

 

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I would have to say that for me, what has been draining my own happiness has been busyness. I’ve been all over the show lately with barely enough time to pause and just breath or do what I enjoy. I’ve been over-exerting myself and I find that it leaves me unable to function at my optimal level and to fully enjoy everything happening around me.

What about you? Can’t wait to read your responses!

With love,

Sonia Dee

 

 

I Was Jealous of My Married Friends

Envy

Photo Cred: Psychology Today

I have been single for about 7 years now. In that time I have been fellowshipping at the same Church. This means that I have been part of the youth group at my church for about 6-and-a-half years and have made many acquaintances and friends, especially because I’m a very sociable person. It also means that some of these friends have moved away because life has taken them on different paths, and I’ve been privileged enough to make even more friends.

It also means that I have been a part of, planned, attended and witnessed a number of engagements, bridal showers, weddings and baby showers. I’ve been a bridesmaid at my fair share of weddings (think ‘27 Dresses’ vibes although thankfully not that many! Lol). Fun right? Not so much initially. Not that I don’t enjoy such occasions – don’t get me wrong. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love love and everything that comes with it, most especially the celebrations. But let me expand.

Truth be told, this was really difficult for me for the first 4 of the 7 years that I’ve been at my Church. I’ll never forget this one Sabbath when I and a group of my friends decided that we’d hang out that evening as we usually did after Church. I was so excited! As a single girl (and a sociable one at that) you enjoy whiling away time with others. So the time came for our great adventures to begin and one by one my friends started telling me that they could no longer hang out cause they were spending time with their person or as couples. It stung big time.

I was alone.

I honestly was angry with my friends, especially my girlfriends, for ditching me like this! Not only that – I was (I realized) very much jealous of their romantic relationships. I mean, why was I the only one without a special someone to love me? What was so wrong with me? It’s not like I wasn’t as desirable surely. Had God forgotten about me and the fact that I too really wanted to be in a relationship? After all, I’d been holding out on entering relationships with just any Tom, Dick or Harry like He’d asked me to. To make matters worse, I was always asked to help plan their bridal and baby showers when the time came and of course to attend their weddings (God WILL put you smack bang in the middle of situations that bring you your greatest pain so that He can birth your greatest purpose!). I was glad that they were finally settling down with the person they loved so dearly and living the life that they desired but I could not ignore the fact that I was envious.

For a long time I denied these feelings because as Christians we are told that jealousy is bad and we’re basically encouraged to bury any “negative” feelings. In doing so though, I was only hurting myself more. It just meant that it took longer for me to accept and be content in my singleness, and it stole away from me being completely happy for my friends and loved ones. I thank God though that in good time, He encouraged me to face my true feelings and acknowledge that I was not happy being single and that I was not happy for others who were receiving what I thought I deserved. And that that was okay.

Even God experiences feelings we have labelled “negative” such as jealousy and anger (Deuteronomy 6:15; Deuteronomy 4:24). I believe strongly that the majority of feelings we experience are not in and of themselves bad – it’s just our expression of them and how we allow them to control us that can be evil. I only started to come to full healing and acceptance of my single status when I acknowledged that I wished it was me with the ring on my finger instead. It allowed me to unblock the negativity building within my spirit and to let God restore peace and hope within my heart. Not this whole “focus on other things like your purpose and serving God then you’ll be content with your singleness” message we are fed as youth. That is true yes, but before I could accept that message I had to confess what was in my heart.

So am I completely satisfied with being single today? I’d say pretty much – obviously I have days where I recognise it would be nice to have someone there but it does not stop me from enjoying my here and now. Am I completely happy for those around me getting married, having babies and receiving that which I would like one day? I finally am.

I finally am because I finally believe and trust that my Redeemer, my Saviour, my Best Friend, my Father and my Provider truly has my best interests at heart and desires only the best for me. I finally see my season of singleness as the greatest opportunity I have to bloom in my purpose and to discover my make-up as an individual. I finally trust that my story is different from everyone else’s and it’s all about His perfect timing. I can never rush the process and quite frankly I probably shouldn’t want to. I finally realize that I have no idea the struggles my now-married friends have had to endure to be where they are or what they currently face. I finally understand that I am learning invaluable lessons from my friends and family who have gone ahead of me on this journey of marriage and parenthood – I am lucky enough to drink from their fountain of knowledge before I step into that stage of my life God-willing. I finally understand that I’m fulfilling my calling as a Christian by supporting and rejoicing with my loved ones who have what I would have liked to have too.

I finally realize that I am more than worth the wait – even to myself.

I honestly don’t think that I would have come to these realizations or to this state of contentment if I’d continued lying to myself and had not acknowledged my feelings of jealousy. I pray this encourages someone today to know that they are not alone in these feelings and to finally take the necessary steps to healing.

What has your journey of singleness been like? What issues are you grappling with? Let’s share and grow together!

With love,

Sonia Dee