bAw Survey 2017

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Hi bAw family!

This is just a reminder that our survey is still open and we’d love to hear how we can best cater to your needs in 2017!  Thank you to those who have already responded. If you would still like to respond, please go ahead and fill out the below form.

Thank you,

Sonia Dee

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The Institutionalisation of Xenophobia

Such a powerfully personal and poignant expression of the experience of foreign black Africans in South Africa. What are your thoughts around the xenophobic attacks in the country?

rumbidzayIIshe

I really wasn’t going to say anything about the most recent xenophobic attacks and anti-foreigner marches taking place in South Africa. But, my palms were itching. I am no journalist or political activist of sorts. I am a human being. One with an opinion and a platform to share this.

My initial thought to not get involved was not due to apathy as some might think. No. The thing is, we keep coming to this point over and over again. Every couple of months, there is an outcry against blatant xenophobic attacks where foreign nationals in South Africa are displaced, undergo irrational and inhumane treatment from their fellow African brothers because “they do not belong”.

There have been many hashtags, Tweets, Facebook posts, blogs, articles and the like speaking out against this. Which is all great. But why do we keep coming back to this same place?

Janine Jellars put…

View original post 755 more words

My Natural Hair Care Regime – Washing

Me and my natural hair

So I’ve been on this natural hair journey for a good 4+ years, and it has been an interesting one. I’ve written about why I decided to go natural and how I transitioned into being a naturalista. That is a decision I absolutely do not regret in my life. Nothing beats walking in the fullness of who God placed you on this earth to be, including how you wear your hair.

That being said, it hasn’t always been easy doing this natural thing. Starting off, my sister and I had no clue how to keep natural hair. My experience with natural hair was limited to childhood when my mum would wash it then blow and comb it out. It was PAINFUL! And near to impossible to put a comb through that hair and I honestly hated it. I had to convince myself as an adult that this wouldn’t be the case this time around. So we did our research – reading up online about different natural hair types and how to care for them, as well as watching YouTube videos about how to care for and style your natural hair.

This, and years of experimenting alone has led me to a routine that works so beautifully for my hair and I wanted to share cause some of you have been asking how we manage to keep our hair looking so good. In today’s post I will be sharing the products I use on my hair to wash it. And the routine I follow in doing so. In a later post I will share how I moisturize and style my hair as well.

Hair Type

First things first, you need to know what your hair type is so you know how to care for it. Below are two charts of different hair types to help you out:

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Source: Blogspot.com
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Source: Blogspot.com

 

We black Africans are mostly Type 4 hair types. I personally am a 4b/4c. Hair Type 4 is what I’ll be referring to in sharing my hair care regime.

Wash Products and Process

I personally am one of those people who believes that the simpler a product is, the better. In fact, organic and natural is what I have found to work best for me. You may not believe that these two simple products are what I use for my weekly-to-bi-weekly wash but I promise you they bring out the best and most natural texture to my hair. I make sure to buy the organic and natural versions. The shampoos and conditioners that we buy in-store are filled with harmful chemicals that dry out your natural hair and take away from it coiling beautifully.

  1. Shampoo

My “shampoo” is bi-carbonate of soda or baking powder. Yep! I get it from any Woolworths or Pick N Pay.

bi-carb-of-soda

Process: So you take about half a teaspoon of bi-carb and put it in a 250ml cup. Then add water to dissolve it (or you can do 1 part bi-carb to 3 parts water). You can put it into one of those squeeze bottles and mix it up.

Apply this to your wet hair and rub it in comprehensively, leaving it in for about 3 minutes. You then rinse it out with warm water thoroughly to ensure it’s all out of your hair and has not remained on the scalp. You’ll find it weird at first that there is no foam with this method but it’s because there are no harmful chemicals that you find in regular shampoo that are actually added to result in the foaming effect.

Bi-carb is so good for your hair because it naturally strengthens your hair over time. You’ll notice that your hair is richer, stronger and more full of life than when using regular shampoo.

  1. Condition

My conditioner of choice is apple cider vinegar which I buy from Dischem or Pick N Pay from the Nature’s Choice brand. I generally buy the 500ml bottle for R75 which lasts forever or you can buy the 200ml bottle for R20 which lasts a long time as well depending on how often you wash your hair. Either way, it’s such an affordable conditioner – value for money. Again, I choose to use this product because it does not contain harmful chemicals and it brings my natural hair to life.

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I’ve clearly had this bottle for the longest time!

Process: You just need to take a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar and mix it in a 250ml cup. Again you can put this in a separate squeeze bottle to make it easier to apply to your hair. After shampooing with bi-carb, you rub this mixture completely through your hair. Thereafter, take a wide-tooth comb and comb out any knots in your hair – this is the only time that I really put a comb to my hair (and it’s optional). The hair is softer when it is wet and detangles much more easily in this state.

After about 3 – 5 minutes you can rinse out the conditioner thoroughly and your hair is squeaky clean!

I wash my hair every week or every other week and it works well for me, so see what works for your hair and your schedule.

  1. Deep Condition

It’s good to deep condition your hair at least once a month. I’ve been slacking on this but it’s really great for your natural coils. It gives your hair body and a great, healthy shine while repairing any damage from your hair being out or exposed to harmful chemicals. It also nourishes it with the protein needed by your hair and moisturizes it.

What I have used in the past to deep condition my hair is egg yolk combined with something else – usually olive oil. There are several amazing DIY, organic and natural deep condition mixtures that you can try if you just Google them.

Process: Take about 2 egg yolks and beat them. Add 1-2 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil to the mixture and mix it some more. You can add water to thin it out a bit, and you can add more eggs and olive oil if your hair is longer – or less if it is shorter.

Once you’ve got your mixture right (not too thick but not runny either), you massage this “conditioner” into your dry hair from the roots to the tips, making sure it’s evenly distributed. You then take a shower cap and cover your hair for at least an hour to as long as overnight. The longer you leave it in, the better it conditions your hair. I find that about an hour and a half works well.

After your appointed time, you then wash out the “deep conditioner” with warm water, and with your normal hair wash regiment thereafter. Make sure you get all that egg out and be prepared for a not-so-great egg smell while you deep condition.

 

This is what I have found to work for me in terms of washing my hair. You can give it a go and tweak it according to your resources, time and texture of your hair. The key to nurturing a great natural crown is to keep trying. You will fail and find that some things don’t work but eventually you’ll come across what does work. Don’t be afraid to try.

I also have an amazing sister-friend of mine called Thandiwe who has come to understand natural hair and locks well, and can give you a consultation and treatment for your hair if you would rather not do all this on your own. You can call her on the number in the image below to check for the consultation fee and she is in the Johannesburg area. She’s running a Feb special so get in touch asap!

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Hope this helps you! And watch out for future hair care posts. Please also share what you’ve tried and what’s worked very well for your hair.

With love,

Sonia Dee

bAw Survey 2017

 

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Hi there bAw family 🙂

So, I need your help. I’m doing a quick survey to try and determine some of the key issues that young black African women are grappling with and desire healing and encouragement over.

The aim is to start sessions (under this bAw community) where we come together to eat, talk, laugh and pray with one another as we seek to become the women God has created us to be, and not who society, culture or our past experiences have tried to tell us we are.

I need your help so that we can support one another and other women in fulfilling this mandate. You can do this by assisting me with answering the following questions in the comments section below or directly to my email address under the “Contact” tab on the site:

  1. What topics/issues would you like to discuss that you don’t believe get enough airplay? e.g. Mentorship/People-Pleasing/Sisterhood/Abuse/Embracing Singleness etc.
  1. What kind of set-up do you believe would encourage you to feel comfortable to share and grow with other young bAw like yourself? eg size of group/facilitator or no facilitator/in a home or at a venue etc.
  1. How often would you be willing to attend these sessions?
  1. What contribution – financial/time – would you be willing to contribute towards the planning and running of these sessions?
  1. What other fun activities and programs would you like to engage in with your fellow bAw other than the sharing sessions?
  1. Do you have any other comments or questions?

Thank you so much for taking the time to complete this survey! We would like to get these sessions and other activities for the year started soonest so please do respond asap. Looking forward to walking with you on this journey!

With love,

Sonia Dee

To The Man I Love, But Am Yet To Meet

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Me in beautiful Cape Town in July 2015

You see me. All of me. And not once have you shrunk back from my awkward talkative nature or loud laugh or my desperate need to analyse everything. Instead, you have a way of turning my flaws and failures into possibilities and opportunities for me to be even greater.

You pursue me. Relentlessly. Not once have I wondered whether you care or think about me. It’s obvious that you do. I see it in the way you look at me as though I am the very first woman you have ever laid eyes on. I recognize it in the way you notice the most random things about me. In the way you don’t get tired of looking for me even if we just spoke this morning or had a falling out. I have no doubt in my mind that I am desirable to you.

You celebrate me. In every way possible. You may not share my exact interests but you still want to know all about them. You see all that I can and shall be, and you remind me of that at every opportunity that you can. You remember what’s important to me and find ways to make a big deal out of that even if it never really mattered to you before we met.

You’re curious about me. Like a child is curious about the first drop of rain she feels on her hand or about how her mama seems to know everything about everything in the world. I am a deep and vast body of water that you’re not afraid to completely submerge yourself in and yet that still wouldn’t be enough for you. It feels like you’re reading a fresh page in my story each day that we are together – even if you’ve read my story countless times before.

You remind me. Remind me about Whose I am and who I am in Him. Remind me of the capable, loving, powerful and gorgeous soul I have always been but that life had ripped from my memory bank. Remind me that I am so uniquely beautiful, enchanting and lovely. Remind me that I’m not alone at any juncture of my life’s journey. Remind me that someone believes in me wholeheartedly and has my back. Remind me that there are still amazingly good men in this world. Remind me of the very first Man who ever loved me unconditionally – Jesus Christ.

You pray for and over me. From the moment you wake up and have a conversation about me with God until you lay your head down at night. You present me before the Creator and plead with Him about my salvation, my healing, my joy and whatever I may need at that time. Your prayers for and about me are what keep me pushing forward daily into the woman God knows me to be despite the odds.

Dear husband, these are just reflections of your deep love for me and a few of the things I am grateful for in you. Thank you for how you challenge and push me towards the mark God has set for me. Thank you for reinstating my hope in godly men, when, for majority of my life it has constantly been torn down. Thank you for loving me in a way that reminds me of my Saviour’s love for me. Thank God that every day He blesses me with the opportunity to try and return the beauty you have brought into my life. I pray that I may honour my God by loving and respecting you the way He has called me to.

I haven’t met you yet, but God has already taught me to love you.

Yours truly,

The Woman You Adore, But Are Yet To Know