As Christian women when it comes to the subject of relationships we are often told to “wait on God” – that, “God will choose your husband” and “God has a plan” etc. But what does it actually mean to wait on God? And how do you know when it’s God and not you forcing your choice of a spouse on God’s plan for your life.
You know what I mean… you meet a guy and you think he’s amazing, so you begin to tell yourself “he must be the one!” And you begin to interpret everything this person does (the good, the bad and the ugly) as God saying “Yes, My dear, this is it”.
Whomever God has chosen to be your life partner will align with everything God has revealed to you about your life’s purpose. Where we sometimes get it wrong as women is we share that purpose with our potential suitor and join ourselves with a man who ends up pretending in line with the purpose we share with them. You’ve revealed the script to them and they are playing their role according to the script you’ve given to them.
Guard your heart.
“Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life.” – Proverbs 4:23
So again, what does it actually mean to “wait on God”?
When we read or hear the word “wait” we assume the phrase refers to the definition of the word which implies staying where one is or delaying action until a particular time or until something else happens. However I read the word “wait” as actually referring to “serve” as in the same way a waiter waits on you. Waiting on God means literally “waiting” on God, as in serving God. Serve God first and the rest will follow.
I only got this interpretation during the time I met my husband. Before that I was just fumbling through my dating life trying to be a good Christian and forcing my dating trials on God.
“A woman who walks in purpose doesn’t have to chase people or opportunities. Her light causes people and opportunities to pursue her.” – Unknown
I met my husband at a time in my life where I was passionate about living the life/purpose God had for me. I was determined to serve God at all costs. I was determined to cut out all things I felt had been distractions in the past.
When my husband initially stepped into my life, I thought it was just another test/distraction to see if I was serious about fulfilling my purpose, so I pushed him away. I told him I wasn’t in a place to entertain relationships. My husband’s reaction was to inform me that he wanted to get to know me better and through consistent friendship made his intentions known.
I learnt so much about faith during our courtship. The biggest revelation I got was that when you “wait” upon the Lord, everything else sorts itself out. The relationship with your life partner is effortless because you have created a setting where true colours reveal themselves a lot quicker. If someone steps into your life, and prevents you from “waiting” on the Lord or fulfilling your purpose then we can safely say that person is not the one. If someone cannot be your friend first and respect the journey you are on, then that’s a sign that they may not be your potential life partner.
I learnt that nothing in my life can be greater than God. In “waiting” on God I realized whomever God would eventually send me, could not be someone who took God’s place in my life and if anything that person would make me want to serve God even more.
“The purpose of a godly relationship and potential marriage is not about you. It’s about how you and that other person can serve God in the Kingdom.” – Sabrina Gonzales
God has given each one of us a purpose. We were created with a special, individual, unique testimony to live out and share with the world. Your purpose can take many manifestations from working in ministry, starting a business, helping others through non-profit organizations or through your daily work. Your purpose, your life is the unique message God has for the world.
Whatever comes into your life, whomever comes into your life, the test should always be “does this advance or detract from God’s purpose for my life?”
In diving deeper into my relationship with God while dating my husband, my husband revealed himself to be the person that God wanted me to wait on (serve) God with. My husband didn’t stand in my way in terms of pursuing the endeavours I felt God had placed on my heart.
Reading over the above I know it sounds like it’s an easy set of circumstances and everything just fell into place but it wasn’t. It took a lot of doubting myself, praying and seeking advice from people who I consider wise counsel in my life. Discernment is not always easy, especially in the area of personal relationships. However in the revelation that “waiting on God” actually means “serving God” I was able to discern my situation more clearly.
In wrapping up this post, I close with the words we hear time and time again as Christian Women…. “Wait” on God, and the rest will follow.
Lerato is a lawyer and aspiring writer. She has a deep passion for the Lord and following the path the Lord has set her on. She is passionate, driven and kind.
Lerato is a wife, daughter, sister and friend. She is a woman who is unshakeable yet immensely compassionate and I respect her greatly.
Let us know what you think about Lerato’s understanding of what it means to “wait on God”. How have you managed to wait on Him?