Perhaps it’s the manner in which my mind works that I feel any blanket statement is a dangerous one. I’m not really able to speak for all men about all men. I am speaking on what I know, which is what I’ve seen in the last 30 years.
In my view, in general, there are two different kinds of men: good ones and bad ones! Women need to know that we are extremely simple creatures and there is not much to us. We are sentient, emotional creatures with thoughts and feelings and ideas, often to the surprise of women. But in general fundamentally, there are two distinct types of men; good men and there are bad men. What I mean by a good man is a good person, a person with values and who treats his loved ones with care and love, but who has shortcomings because he is human yet learns how to live with them.
There are others who are actually mean and bad people. Bad men do not care about how they treat people at all in their lives. These are men that cheat and that couldn’t care less about what effect it has. They are very selfish, care more about themselves or their friends than their families, and keep all the money to themselves. They are emotional and physical abusers. These are actually bad people… people who lack love.
If you find yourself on a date with a man who is mean and lacks love – Run!
Now there are few things that women need to know about good men because bad ones will just make you miserable. I’ve listed the below on the major things I think are true of all the good ones.
- Every man has a vice
Just like every person is not perfect and every person has something that they cannot work on, men are the same. Some men drink, some gamble. Some men “like women” (are flirty), some men are liars. Some men are lazy, selfish, or hard headed… Every man has their vice. You need to know that some men, even the good ones, have these habits and you have to know which you, as a woman, can stand. For example, if you cannot stand a smoker or drinker, do not try to change a smoker or drinker because they will stay the same. Find a non-smoker and non-drinker.
- Emotional Idiots
If you accept that men are very very very stupid in emotions, you will understand us much better. There are so few emotions that men feel through-out one day or week. For example, right now I am tired from a long gym session and busy with work but there is no real underlying emotional state at this time or if there is, it’s a maximum of one or two. I’m “cool”… That’s basically it. I’ve heard this called the “empty box”, where a man is at rest and there is nothing going on in his head at all. In contrast, women have so many things going on in their heads and this can cause conflict.
- A man that loves a woman will show her
A man always knows if he loves a woman and it will show. But it’s very difficult to accept that the man you are with does not love you. That’s not to say that perhaps that love is not shown in different ways; there just needs to be communication on what love is.
“If you accept that men are very very very stupid in emotions, you will understand us much better.” – Landry Subira
We do not like housework. The End.
If a man is not shown deference, it messes with them. Let them lead but do not follow blindly.
- Men don’t sweat the small stuff
There are about 2392040249343002304 things that women care about in their lives. Men care about a few things: Is my family well taken care of? Am I performing well at work? Which school are my kids going to? Am I well respected? Etc. We will almost always do what our wives or significant others want us to do unless we feel strongly that it should not be done.
In conclusion, and as stated above, men are intelligent and practical people who do care about women, but it is very important to know what kind of man it is that you need. The core of a person does not generally change because that is their genetic make-up. If you meet a heavy drinker and smoker in his 20s or 30s, that’s most likely who he will be for life. That’s not to say men are not able to change but expecting that same man to be teetotaller (abstainer from alcohol) after you’ve met him is naïve. Expectations of perfection will drive you crazy. Accept the person who you are with.
Landry Subira is a struggling writer and seldom blogger and does legal stuff during the day.
Thank you Landry for highlighting what you believe to be the basics about men as you wish women understood. My favourite had to be Number 4 – straight to the point with no apology!
Do comment below and let us know which points stood out for you sis. Have you come across these before? Maybe another brother can add on to the list.
Thanks as always for reading and sharing.