Swazi is a returning contributor to our blogsite. She penned the piece, Diary of a Young Married Woman in May this year which resonated with a number of women. We’re glad to have her share her experiences in marriage after a year. Enjoy 🙂
A year has passed, WOW!
Sometime this year, I was traumatized and depressed. My outlook on marriage was disastrous and I thought there should be something better than being married. A year later, my outlook has changed.
When I got married, I had entered with expectations. I wanted to be the perfect wife. I cooked, cleaned, washed and ironed clothes without any help. I overworked myself and wanted my house to always stay clean. I expected my husband to keep a clean house at all times and even made it difficult to live in our house, which was supposed to be our home of relaxation. This took a toll on me and our relationship.
Apart from the mess and disorganization by my husband, our language was different. It still is tough, but it is much better.
Just as two rivers meet with a clash of fast paced water and eventually go in one direction, so it is with marriage. It’s two different people, coming together to form a life and home together. This will definitely come with a lot of friction and misunderstanding.
What have I learnt so far? Marriage is beautiful and is blessed by God. We have to enter into it with a mind and heart that is willing to learn and unlearn some things. It needs people who are willing to die to self, it needs people who will take care of the next and not themselves as the other does the same. It needs support from both parties and more than anything it needs people who will just love each other unconditionally.
As my relationship with God matures, so does my relationship with my husband. As I submit to God and His will, so do I submit to my husband. As God teaches me sacrifice, so does it happen in my marriage.
“We have to enter into [marriage] with a mind and heart that is willing to learn and unlearn some things.” – Swati
Marriage is so much lighter and so much better, I am learning and exploring my husband each day. He is learning and exploring me and what a joy to finally understand that we are in this, not to compete, but to complement each other. We are learning to be each other’s cheer leader. We are learning that if one wins, it is our win. Together with Christ we will conquer much.
Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these other things will be added unto us.”
Without Love (God) our marriage is built on sinking sand.
Many thanks to Swazi once again for sharing her heart with us. It’s been said that marriage gets really tough after the initial honeymoon phase and you’ve beautifully penned the truth in this statement. You’ve gone further and told us what it looks like on the other side of the honeymoon phase.
Have you had a similar experience to Swazi? Or has your honeymoon phase been long-term? We’d love to hear your thoughts.
Thanks for reading as always,