Does Your Tribe Do This For You? by Larissa Subira
This month, we have been focused on mental health and sisterhood – how our friendships form part of us cultivating a healthier mindset. Today’s post is by one of our bAw team members and she provides 6 important qualities of a good friend. Enjoy!
I don’t know about you but 2018 has been real and what has kept me sane is my tribe. These are my sister-friends who God placed in my life because He knew I’d need them. Funnily enough I have come to appreciate this more as I get older. God saw it fit that I only have biological brothers – who are great – but there’s just something about sister-friends that feed the soul.
Growing up I struggled to make real connections, partly because we moved around so much the first 12 years of my life, and partly because I did not know myself. I was insecure about so many things. P.S. it gets better, especially on the other side of 30! Looking back, I see that I did not always make the healthiest of decisions but then again I knew nothing. Thank God for growth!
Through that growth I’ve learnt a few things about friendship, a friend:
- Stretches you: So, I have a habit of talking a lot about what I want to do but hardly get to it. A good friend will hold you accountable and be on your neck about that thing you need to do to move your life forward. Why? Because they want you to win and see you fulfill your dreams and purpose.
- Tells you the truth: This one is hard. No one really wants to be told their stuff. I certainly don’t but it’s necessary. It also strengthens your bond when you see that your friend cares enough to voice something that’s uncomfortable and risks the fact that your feelings may be hurt. When you weigh walking through life not confronting the ugly parts of yourself versus have the band-aid ripped off for a better outcome…it’s a small price to pay.
- Cries with you: You know those days when you get really horrible news: you lose your job, you lose a loved one or you’re just plain upset about life. It’s really a great balm when you can just spend time with your besties eating ice-cream, crying and laughing. It’s a blessing when your people know just what you need depending on what you’re going through.
- Celebrates with you: the people you choose to be in your life should leap for joy whenever something good happens in your life. It’s really that simple.
- Doesn’t join in on your despair: In as much as a good friend can cry and mourn with you in your down times, I have learnt that there is a fine line between this and enabling destructive behavior. You know how it is, sometimes you’re in so much pain that all you see is darkness and are bitter about the world around you. Someone who truly cares for you, will try by all means to pull you out of that. They encourage and remind you of who you were before the pain.
- Prays with you and for you: You should be on your friend’s prayer list…standard. It is such a comfort knowing that when you can’t bring yourself to utter one word of prayer, someone is interceding for you. I have also found that praying together connects you spiritually which is a blessed bond.
“We are all just walking each other home.” – Ram Dass
These are just a few nuggets I have picked up along the way. I pray you have a tribe in your life. No need to go through this life alone when God has placed angels around you who are ready to be a reflection of His love. And more than that, I pray you’re this person for someone else.
Thank you Larissa for a sweet, short and insightful piece. Thank you to our bAw Tribe for reading this post too. Can you relate with these truths about friends? Are there other qualities you’ve grown to appreciate in your friends? Let us know.