You’re Not The Only One by Larissa Subira

You're Not The Only ONe
Photo Cred: Inspiration DE Online

 

Growing up, I had no real concept of what depression or any kind of mental disorder was. I began having some understanding when I started to have panic attacks when I was 18 and in my final year of high school. These episodes were periodic, mainly around exam time.

 

I would have episodes now and again but funnily enough they intensified in my honours year. By appearances I had ‘less stress’ – barely had any exams to write – was getting the best grades in my varsity career – going to church every week – getting along with my siblings. I struggled to understand my inability to get it together, to control my mind and reactions.

 
At 22 I realised something had to be done. My panic attacks were happening more and more often. It was debilitating. I’d lose time trying to recover. So I went to campus health and sought counselling. I think my friends wondered why because I seemed to be doing alright. Force of habit that – I wasn’t one to really express my emotions. I had however reached a point where I wanted to move on.

 

Take your wounds to Christ
Photo Cred: Pinterest

 

I had counselling for 3 months – 7 years later I haven’t experienced a panic attack at all. Funny thing is life has definitely gotten more stressful – #adulting and all.

 

Let me be clear – I am by no means comparing my panic attacks to depression. What I am hoping rather is to demonstrate that any sort of challenge such as anxiety isn’t a reflection of how mentally weak or strong you are.

 

This weekend’s story of a 19 year old student committing suicide took me back to my 19 year old self. It demonstrated that young people are facing desperate challenges. In South Africa suicide is one of the leading causes of deaths in the 15-24 age group.

 

We are all broken final
Photo Cred: Crush Cul De Sac

 

I am not sure what that says about our society but it may partly have to do with the fact that beyond getting good grades, not getting pregnant or being on drugs, there is no further indication of how well you’re doing which is needed or required. Who’s to blame for this? Oh I’m not sure. In my humble view at all sectors of society, a lot of challenges are being confronted. So perhaps we all need to join hands.

 
Let’s do away with viewing depression as a testament to one’s lack of faith as is sometimes seen in our faith-based communities. It is at times viewed as a clear black and white issue, cause and effect.  And even when your depression is acknowledged there is an assumed timeline as to how long YOU should take to ‘get over it’.

 

My prayer is that we be kind with another and ourselves, more especially that we care more that our loved ones get healing. That life be less about outward achievements but more about one’s wellbeing. Lastly – for anyone experiencing depression to know that there’s NOTHING wrong with you and most importantly, you can get help. Whatever form your mental health challenges comes in doesn’t matter as long as you heal.

 

He heals the wounds
Photo Cred: Pktfuel Online

 

God doesn’t make mistakes; David beautifully encapsulated it in Psalms 139:13-14 – “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

 

Love,

Larissa

Larissa

Larissa is a regular contributor to the blog and a young woman who is passionate about the betterment of women in today’s society. She holds a Masters in Development Studies and is also a daughter of the Most High God seeking to live a purposeful life for Him.


 

Before you go sis:

  • Thank you so much for reading today’s post! If you are facing some challenges in terms of your mental health, please don’t remain silent as hard as it is to speak up. There are people willing to listen and help. Feel free to drop me a message or if you would like a referral to a psychologist, psychiatrist or support group, please do call the South African And Depression Anxiety Group (SADAG) on 011 234 4837 or 0800 20 50 26 and a trained counselor will assist you. Alternatively, you can email Zane at zane1@medport.co.za. We’re in this together.
  • We have a phenomenal Ladies Gala Dinner coming up in November if you’re in the Johannesburg area!! Please do book your tickets here by 27 October to avoid disappointment. Me and the team have been working tirelessly to ensure that this is an evening to remember! Can’t wait to spend time with you all 🙂

Wishing you a fantastic week ahead and do know I’m praying for you.

With love,

Sonia Dee

 

 

 

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Guest Post: Why Your Life May Need To Fall Apart by Norma Mzizi

Light in Darkness
Photo Cred: From Up North Online

 

Becoming ‘Norma Natural‘ has been a difficult, lonely yet fulfilling process. I was exhausted one Sabbath evening and as I lay on my bed I tried to figure out what it was that had me so tired on a day I should be feeling rejuvenated. Didn’t the answer come pouring like an open tap…..I was busy – busy doing so much for everyone else around me.

 

I was coming from a toxic, abusive and stagnant relationship. In trying to find myself again I got lost in religion, not in Christ. I wanted to be the perfect friend, sister and maybe wife. I made sure I looked right and sounded right, tried to be politically correct, and held on! I healed from the abuse but opened up for serious corrosion spiritually.

 

I spent days perfecting a company that was not mine, feeling drained and unappreciated. Embraced so called friends who took my time, my clothes and even my sanity at times. Thank God I learnt just in time….

 

Come Fridays, I’d be preparing Sabbath lunch and working on whatever program I needed to present or planning this and that. Don’t get me wrong, my heart and mind where in it all, but I did not realise I was giving and not feeding myself in the process. I was not just seeing to everyone’s needs, I was giving them me. Giving them parts of myself that I could not carry on without. Like an oak tree my shade was large enough for everyone, but my roots were weak, tired, dying!

 

You have to die a few times
Photo Cred: Buzznick Online

 

Who are you Norma? Are you this friend that everyone is crying to? Are you “Mrs Girlfriend” but not wife? Are you a pillar without a foundation? What are you doing at church besides serving and keeping to rules and regulations? Who are you behind those perfect outfits and flawless makeup? Do you even like eating what you are told is right to eat? Guuuurl! Who art thou?

 

Unfortunately (or rather fortunately) it took a shattered, empty feeling to get me back on track. My life came to a screeching halt. Down and disappointed, alone and weak – my awakening began.  Now God could have His turn. Now I was ready for His will, His purpose, His blue print for me. No rules no religion, it was time to seek my true self and feed her right so I could genuinely be right to the next person.

 

I stopped doing church. Yes, doing. Because I was doing it and not growing in Christ. I was perfect to a standard that someone else set. A diet that someone else prescribed, a belief system that was do or die. For a few more weeks I held on, trying to figure out if I was losing my sanity or actually finding it.

 

God never allows pain
Photo Cred: Daily Scrolls Online

 

Eventually I cut my relaxed hair (a girl is about to change her life when she cuts her hair, come on somebody!). I remember the liberating feeling of standing in the shower with no fear of messing up a “hair do”. By the time I started putting on make-up I became rebellious. I had that “why should I?” moment. Anyway who says I’m not ravishing, drop dead gorgeous without it? This stuff stings and burns my eyes anyway! So much work and for what?! At that moment I realised I could go natural in every sense of the word.

 

I started researching on ways to get back to basics. I wanted to be true to me as an earth child and the spirit within. To listen to the reason why I loved walking bare feet on grass and listening to the sound of water; to feed that spirit that was so in touch with her nature but had strayed to foreign “truths”. Long story short, I found shea butter, coconut oil and black soap. Those were my first back to Eden cosmetics. Didn’t my skin and hair flourish!

 

I became so radical in my return to nature so much so that people asked me what I was on. I ate what I figured worked well with my blood type (Yes, I’m a meat eater y’all)! I devoured that fish and meat and got my sexy back either way. I learnt to listen to that inner voice, to listen to my body, to hear my inner being.

 

All the while many things were falling off: The need to impress was dying. I did what I could when I could. I even stopped going on unnecessary dates, where I knew these men were only interested in me making them look good. It was all but physical attraction.

 

They could not stomach that I was a single mother of two. I wasn’t good enough to take to Mum and Dad who expected him to bring home a virgin. What is sad is that these “godly” men are out here sleeping with us but they want to marry a virgin. Dating and relationships is a whole book on its own. Let me leave it right here.

God never uses anyone greatly until
Photo Cred: Lil Blue Boo Online

 

As I was saying, people became inquisitive of the new look and confident force driving me. I have a deep sense of connection now. I know who God says I am. I know I am a spirit having a human experience in a body of clay; this zulu girl, intombi yakoMzizi  umaJama kaZulu uMpinda kaVezi isalukazi esimabelebele esancelisa ingane ngaphesheya kolwandle! Umuzi ubiywa ngenhloko zamadoda, uzulu kalidumi libonakala ngezikhukhula zomfula, umphankomo enebele,  Jama kaNdaba, KaPhunga, kaMageba, kaNkosinkulu, kaZulu, kaNtombela, kaMalandela, kaLusulumane, kaGumede, kaMnguni waseMbo! Lilizela bo!!!

 

I started sharing my secret and giving products to people. When I realised I was getting a following I started selling the products and different remedies that I found. At times other people would bring their own things and ask me to blend them as they wanted that “Norma’s Touch” thing hence the birth of Norma’s touch organic treatments & lifestyle products! My motto today is “If you cannot eat it, then it should not be on your hair and skin.”

Your pain often reveals God's purpose
Photo Cred: i.pinimg.com

It took my hitting absolute rock bottom for God to get my attention and grow me into my purpose for being on this earth. We tend to feel as though God has forsaken us when we are faced with our darkest moments, and we forget that He creates best out of void and darkness (Genesis 1:2). If you’re going through a season of darkness, pain and uncertainty draw nearer to God. He is trying to birth something new in you.

Love and light,

Norma Mzizi

Norma

Norma is a young woman who is passionate about people living a natural and healthy lifestyle as God intended. She is full of humour and great compassion for her fellow man, and seeks to live authentically. You can find Norma and her amazing natural products on Facebook and Instagram.

 


 

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and as if everything in your life is literally falling apart, it is most probably because God is seeking to transform your life for the better. He is seeking to expose the gold within you so that you can live for Him and be a blessing to those around you. Don’t give up sis.

With love,

Sonia Dee

Guest Post: Dealing With Disappointment When We Move In Faith by Rumbidzayi Dube

Disspointment Image 2
Photo Cred: zsazsabellagio.com

I am a thinker, a wonderer. When I am overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions, I find writing helps relieve the pressure like an acupuncture of the soul.

I ‘recently’ took a step in faith. Well, it has been a journey of 20 odd months in the making with each stage requiring that I move in faith. In the beginning, I grappled with it being the path that God really wanted me to take. I didn’t deserve to. This was WAY out of my league. But God did His thing and through prayer, the Word, tears, fighting through doubts and fears, I accepted that it was for me. God has led me every step of the way.

It is nearly crunch time for that dream to come into effect. I am in a period of waiting and it has been the most difficult, heart wrenching, spiritual, hopeful time of my life. I have found myself oscillating between confidence and uncertainty, faith and fear. I know I am not meant to be fearful for “God has not given us a spirit of fear but of…” (2 Timothy 1:7). Have I failed as a believer then? I don’t believe so because ultimately, I rest on the laurels of God’s promises and that He loves me. He could never hurt me.

In approaching this critical point in my life, I have had to be brutally honest about what the outcomes may be. As friends and family alike pray and fast for me, I have come face to face with many a reality. God can come through in the most unexpected ways for me as He has done for the Joseph’s, Daniel’s, Esther’s and Ruth’s in times before. He could also decide to take me on a different course. The question becomes, how do I deal with disappointment in the face of faith?

Dealing with Disappointment

I am reminded of David’s story when his son fell ill and he prayed to God for his healing. His son ultimately died. But David’s reaction was so potent. He rose up out of his place of anguish, bathed and went to worship God. The same goes for Job. He had been a faithful servant of God and trial after trial faced him. In all he faced, he continued to worship God and praise Him.

You see, faith is not dependent on an outcome we want being fulfilled. Faith is a belief that “all things are working for the good of they that love the Lord” (Romans 8:28) and He is working for your good. So in that, faith is about praising and worshipping God no matter the circumstances or outcomes. You trust that He is working in your favour.

I struggle with this notion – grapple with it. On one end, you would have heeded God’s voice every step of the way. Surely, He was working towards a particular outcome. So, when the outcome is different to what you had expected, then what? Did you hear wrong?

Maybe. Or maybe you have not reached the final destination. God needs to take you on a detour to work out some kinks in your character before reaching that destination. There are lessons to be learnt so you know Whose you are and ultimately, who deserves the praise. For Joseph, it was 13 years of slavery and ill treatment so he could learn humility; have his faith tested; point others to God; and lead his people out of starvation. All this, I believe, so he would not claim all the praise and glory for himself but give it to God.

It is hard. Difficult to understand, but remember that God’s thoughts towards us are “thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11) Remember, these thoughts are ultimately for your salvation. So, come what may, that is God’s number one priority for you. Learn the lesson and do not let go of His promises. And whatever may be, DO NOT LOSE HOPE. All is never lost.

Rumbi Dee 2

Rumbi is a member of the bAw Team and a contributor to the movement. She is a gifted young woman with the ability to bring to life the dreams of others in the marketing and creative realm. She currently consults as a PR and Marketing manager while daily pushing to fulfill the dreams God has placed on her heart to make a difference in this world. She also pens her thoughts on life on her lovely blogsite, and can be found on Instagram, FB or Twitter.